How Your Limiting Beliefs are Blocking Your Potential

I got a text from a client — we'll call her Joy.

She'd made it to the second round of applications for the Sundance Lab. Genuinely amazing. Except she hadn't done any of the prep work for round two, because she never thought she'd get that far. Now she had days to do what should've taken weeks.

Joy wanted in. That's the only reason she applied. But the second she hit submit, she decided there was no way she'd get it — so she stopped trying.

My client Lila… 

Applied for a job she was curious about, not even sure she wanted it. Then she interviewed. The moment she realized she might actually want it, she became completely certain she had no shot. She was positive they were hiring internally so why bother? 

Two days after she told me she wasn't getting it, she got called back for round two.

Then she decided there was no way they'd match her salary requirements.

She accepted the job two weeks later with a higher salary than she'd hoped for and got every single thing she asked for in the negotiation.

Then there's Cindy. 

She saw a job that checked every box except the salary listed which was half of what she currently made. She didn't even apply. She was sure they wouldn't budge.

A colleague applied for that same job, asked for triple the listed salary, and got it. 

Why We Tell Ourselves What We Want Isn't Possible

Joy, Lila, and Cindy all did the same thing: they decided, in advance, that they weren't getting the thing they wanted.

For Cindy, that meant never trying.
For Joy, it meant skipping the prep work.
For Lila, it meant weeks of unnecessary stress over an outcome that never happened.

We all do this. We tell ourselves what we want isn't possible — not because we have actual evidence, but because it's easier than wanting something and not knowing if we'll get it.

If we already "know" it's not happening, we think we won’t have have to risk being disappointed.

Newsflash: it doesn't work that way. 

You Can't Talk Yourself Out of a Desire

It doesn’t matter how much you tell yourself it will never happen.  If you want something and you don't get it, you will be disappointed. That's just what happens when you're alive.

Telling yourself it's not going to happen doesn't trick your brain into wanting it any less. It just adds a layer of denial on top of it. 

And here’s the real kicker - trying to protect yourself from disappointment doesn’t keep you safer. But  it  DOES change how you show up. It changes the energy you bring and the effort you put in. 

Our thoughts shape our actions more than we realize - what we say, how we carry ourselves, whether we actually do the work – or quietly sabotage it like Joy did.

Self Leadership Practice: 

Think of something you want.

Now ask yourself:

• How do you show up if you've already decided it's never going to happen?

• What do you do? What do you think? What's your energy?

Now flip it. Decide you're going for it with everything you’ve got and that you'll survive the disappointment if it doesn't work out (because you will). 

• What's different now? 

• What do you think? What do you do? What’s your energy? 

• What actions are available to you that weren't a minute ago?

Whether you get the thing is almost beside the point. Go for it, and things shift in ways you couldn't have predicted from the sidelines.

That's the part Cindy never got to find out.

If you've already decided something you want isn't possible — I'd love to help you test that theory. Book a clarity call and let's find out what's actually true.